Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Lyrical Musings of the Day: It's Been a While by Staind

I swear I'm not trying to overload you all with all these song lyrics! ^_^' Just listened to another one today, and another one by Staind no less, and even more yet another one from Staind's Break the Cycle album.  It's another one that I felt I could relate to personally, which is one of the reasons they've really gotten up there as, well, not really one of my favorite bands, but one I've really come to love quite a bit.  They are quite impressive with their song writing style and their musicality and sound isn't bad either, but their songs are just so personal sometimes it's hard not to be able to relate to them.  This one in particular though is one I've been having on my mind a lot lately.

And it's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been a while
Since I first saw you
And it's been a while
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been a while
Since I could call you

And everything I can remember 
As ****** up as it all may seem
And consequences that are rendered
I stretch myself beyond my means

And it's been a while
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well
And it's been a while
Since I've gone and ****** things up just like I always do
And it's been a while
But all that **** seems to disappear when I'm with you



And everything I can remember 
As ****** up as it all may seem
And consequences that are rendered
I've gone and ****** things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste



And everything I can remember 
As ****** up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me 

I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been a while 

Since I said I'm sorry 

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Lyrical Musings of the Day: Black by Pearl Jam

Probably some of the most well written lyrics I've ever heard for the most part come from Pearl Jam.  Combine that with the fact that they pour so much energy and raw emotion into their music and that's precisely what makes them without a doubt my all time favorite band.  They have such a way with words, and such a way with being able to either powerfuly reach you on an emotional level or stimulate you intelectually.  These lyrics here are from my favorite song of theirs, and one of my favorite songs of all time.  Because this song embodies everything that's so great about Pearl Jam, how they can take a song with such a generic main theme and turn it into something so poetic and emotionally powerful.  And because of which this song has typically tended to be one of my personal main themes during times when it feels like my still beating heart has been ripped right out of my chest.  Of course this song clearly implies that the woman Eddie Veder is singing about was more specifically someone he made love to, which at those parts I just replace those lyrics with some of my own that better fits the situation, heh heh. ^_^'

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did (my version: as her presence once did).
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn

Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore (my version: that she bore)
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything.
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be...

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine

Thursday, April 29, 2010

A summer full of magic and adventure! ......and work....

So as most of you have probably noticed, I like to do one of these around pretty much any time I'm either out for school or am on my way back into school, just to kind of cap stuff that's been going on in life.  Well, with finals week over with as of last Tuesday, we're well past due for that time yet again.  So as such, I now present to you the mostly pathetically sad and uneventful yet strangely interesting and exciting events to come in the life of everyone's favorite geeky loner.

First of all, a recap of what has happened since the last time I did this.  As most of you know I was struggling with my Calculus class for a very long while there, afraid that I was going to fail it and thus effecting my financial aid in a not so pleasant way.  And the stress continued well up until, well, pretty much around the same time I took the final.  But since I posted my thoughts on this particular issue a few months ago, I must say I've been making up the slack quite well for the most part.  I was able to work my way up from an E probably within the 30 percentiles to an E in the 50 percentiles, but an E nonetheless.  So I was cutting it dangerously close, needless to say.  But it was most certainly progress, that's for sure.  Then after pouring over my study time endlessly for the remaining two tests of the class (the one we ended up having on the last day of class and the final) I was able to make even more progress apparently, because it was enough to pull my grade out from the 50 percentiles to what I have recently checked as my final grade in that class as a D, better even than the D- I was at the very least least shooting for in that class.  Now if only I had tackled things like that from the very start, maybe I wouldn't even have to take the class again.  But, no point in worrying about what could've been I suppose.  Whenever we make mistakes we just have to accept the consequences and do the best with what you have otherwise.  In which case I look forward to this fall when I take it again, this time with more confidence in what I already know as an advantage instead of being overwhelmed by seeing it for the first time.  Other grades were pretty solid though.  Typical A in Symphonic Band of course, with a B in CS 1030 and a C in Anthropology.  Which both are a bit lower than I was hoping they would be, but still satisfying enough.  However that fact plus the Calc grade ended up hitting my GPA pretty hard.  After rolling for two strait semesters of 3.19 and 3.25, I ended up with the lowest GPA I've ever had at a 2.17.  The overall cumulative GPA only dropped from 2.99 to2.87 though, so it's really not so depressing when you think of it.

And now with that behind us, we look ahead to 4 fun-filled months of not having to put up with the stress of exams, homework or studying!!  Unlike my stint of depression back during spring break though, I'm actually kind of looking forward to having plenty of time to do nothing this time around.  Though I still look back and miss ever so dearly how things were before with regret as to how I allowed them to turn out, and though I still feel quite lonely from time to time outside of the many fond times I still do have with the good 'ol doompants gang (Peter, Aaron and co.), I think I'm well enough removed from the situation by now and used to the way things are enough that for the most part, I've learned not to let it bother me quite as much anymore.  Which is a good thing, because now I can focus on other things other than how miserable my life is.  Like for starters, I've finally been able to get out and begin my journey into the world of having a job.  Got a bishop's referal turned into the D.I. a couple of weeks ago and back on Tuesday I had an interview to work there.  Today I went in to sign some paperwork, probably would have even done some work in my assigned department (I will be working out in the dock, which is awesome because I get to see all the kinds of awesome and entertaining stuff that comes in there!! :D ) with my job training coach as well if he had been in today.  But since he wasn't I'm assuming I'll be doing that tomorrow sometime after the orientation in the morning.  All of which I get payed for, which is also nice. 8-) When I do start actual work up, I'll be working 40 hours a week, 8 hours a day for 5 days of the week, though I will be required to work on Saturdays.  Which is pretty much why we've come to the conclusion that I won't be working when school starts up again, or at least not there anyways.  By then I hope to be moving on to a part time job that will work me at the very most 6 hours a day for 4 days, which would pretty much be ideal for me.  In the meantime I'll be earning minimum wage with this job, which when you do the math comes out to about $500-$600 per paycheck, of which I have no reason to complain. 8-) As for the good 'ol family paper route, I'm still working that one as well, but only until May 31st, as we are sending in our notice on Saturday.  It sure will be nice to be able to sleep again after about 12 or so years of doing it, that's for sure.

As for the dating situation, I think I'm just going to take it easy for a while.  I won't deny the fact that I still have feelings for who I do, and I still don't think those feelings will go away very easily.  But I think what's best for me to do right now is just take up any opportunity to go on whatever date I can with anybody and not really worry about finding a relationship out of any of it.  Basically I think for now I'm just trying to expand my horizon of who I can meet and who out of those people I can possibly like.  I don't think that means that I'm promising I won't end up in a relationship any time soon though.  That mostly depends on who I do meet and how much I end up liking them.  But that will be determined only after I figure out whether or not they like me first I think.  I've been in way too many one-sided situations where I've been the one to like them that way to do anything else.  But for now I'm just not going to worry too much about it.  It may happen, it may not, either way I don't think I really care too much at the moment.  All I'm really concerned with right now is putting myself out there and seeing who likes me and whether or not I like them.

And of course, as always, it wouldn't be a long break from school without a crap load of anime to watch! ^_^ I imagine my anime watching will be somewhat limited this summer from what it typically is, given the fact that I'll be working and all (and working for 8 hours a day no less..... ).  But I'm sure it won't be by too much.  Already on tap, and already have I delved into, are two series in particular, one of which I'm actually already halfway through.  That series would be the French revolution epic Le Chevalier D'eon, which full series box set I ended up getting way back at Christmastime.  So far the series has indeed been quite epic, and without a doubt quite interesting, given the setting and story taking place in a time period and location not typically seen in an anime series, complete with actual historical figures as lead characters and all.  According to most it starts out kind of slow, which I must say I do kind of agree with to a point.  But I think I'm already getting to the point where this thing is really starting to get quite exciting.  The other, which I have watched two episodes of so far, would be one of Masaaki Yuasa's first masterpieces in Kemmonozume.  It's start hasn't been quite as impressive or magnificent as Kaiba's was or Tatami Galaxy's has been so far, but still very, very impressive and magnificent nonetheless.  From the disappointment I hear about how the series turned out though, it is possible I might find myself experiencing the typical railroad crash we saw with Kaiba.  If not, then maybe it'll just be as impressive as it is now, never getting better, which I won't complain about if it does.  I may be able to put it up on a higher pedestal than Kaiba at the very least.  Then there's the new spring season anime that I'll be trying to follow regularly, which I have already posted on this blog earlier and which I have already posted my first impressions of (at least the ones I was assigned anyways) over on ArizUtaku, and I'm also thinking about finishing up Planets, which I got about 12 episodes into during the winter break and never finished, and Eve no Jikan (Time of Eve), which I have regrettably only seen one episode of.  I might even be looking into finding Yuasa's grandest masterpiece of them all, the highly acclaimed film Mind Game, some time this summer as well.  Who knows, I might even end up finding myself FINALLY getting around to watching Haruhi and the second season of Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex if there's time for anything else.

And so my friends, my fellow bloggers who have been so kind as to follow me on here, there you have it; my life at this moment in a nutshell.  Hope I haven't bored you to death too terribly much, heh heh.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Things guys wish girls knew.

Just barely became a fan of this over on facebook.  I must say, well over like, 90% of this is so very true......


1. Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.
2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him
5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-he… method.
6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a *********-- Goodbye.
9. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
11. Guys are very open about themselves.
12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
14. Guys love you more than you love them.
15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.
16. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me." but if he said he doesnt want to talk about it, give him a day or 2 and he will come out
23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
30. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
32. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents ALL of them.
33. They love it when girls talk about their boobs.
34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs
36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts lol
37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probaly still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.
39.Usually (not all the time) it's the guys who have all the millions of girlfriends how treat you bad, most of the "less popular" guys will treat you better.
40.Sometime men appreciate the burden being taken off of them. If you like someone... tell them. Otherwise nothing ever materializes from your feelings.! Most guys like it when girls ask them out
41.99% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you, so don't take everything we say seriously lol^^
42. Trust us, you are DEFINITELY not always right.If you are wrong just admit it, please.Believe it or not, but we are VERY forgiving
43.hey girls you look beautiful naturally whatsoever the more time you spend to makeup the less time we spend together...
44.We definitely love the girls who feel worried and take care of us when we are sick

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I never thought a personality quiz could be this interesting.....

So I was looking in The Anime Alley one day (one of the forums I post in quite frequently, for those of you who don't know) and as part of one of our topics of discussion someone brought up the results to what is apparently very widely well known as the Jung Typology Test.  Pending on how well you search for it you'll either have to pay to take it or you can find places that will allow you to take it for free, but it's a very interesting formula for analyzing your persona at an impressively deep and intricate level.  Here's a link to a free one, for those that are interested in taking it: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

After I was finally linked to a site where you can take it for free, I came up with the INFP (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving), or "Healer" result.  Here's a link to the description page for said result:http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=healer

I'd say it's not too far off from being pretty fairly accurate.  Though personally I'd say the INFJ (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging) or "Protector" result is probably a lot more like me than the INFP one is.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Lyrical Musings of the Day: Epiphany by Staind

Two posted lyrics in a row, yay!  Of course it'll probably be something you'll have to learn to get used to, considering how much I listen to my music and how many lyrics out there I completely adore. ;P

In any case, have you ever heard a song that sometimes you swear was written about you that's just how well you feel you can identify with it?  I had a song like that come up on my iPod today.  Heard it plenty of times before, but just today did it hit me just how well I can relate to it.  I swear I had it on loop a billion times after that as well, heh heh.

Epiphany


Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away
'Cause I can't take anymore of this
I want to come apart
Or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention
Yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Lyrical Musings of the Day: No Surprises by Radiohead

Pretty much anything from their album OK Computer, which by now I have acknowledged as qutie possibly the greatest album of all time, could make it's way onto a post such as this one.  And more than likely you'll probably be seeing plenty more lyrics off that album getting on here in the future.  But for today, we'll just leave it at probably my favorite song off that album (though it's incredibly hard to pick just one favorite, heh heh), and what's become quite possibly one of my all time favorite songs as well.  It came up on my iPod today and reminded me not only of just how beautiful this song is, especially in contrast to the rest of the album as it applies to the overall main theme it was shooting for, but just how incredible an album it is in the first place.

No Surprises

A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal

You look so tired and unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide

No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent

This is my final fit, my final bellyache with

No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please

Such a pretty house, such a pretty garden

No alarms and no surprises (let me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises (let me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises please (let me out of here)