So I've been on a bit of a binge of listening to my favorite band a lot lately for some odd reason. I'm thinking it might have to to with me running into a whole bunch of videos a little while ago from their live show they did at the E Center out here in Salt Lake back in September a and really, really wishing I could've gone (Next time they come through Utah for sure!). And since then I've been wondering about which Pearl Jam album is the greatest of all time. It's kind of hard to say though, PJ is more of a song band than they are an album band. In which sense they have some of the greatest songwriting and lyrical writing capabilities I've ever heard. A lot of people though would probably tell you that their old classic debut album that made them so huge and legendary in the first place, Ten, is their finest work. It certainly is their most popular and successful one, that's for sure. I myself have maybe wondered if it is, given the fact that classics like the heavily rocking Even Flow, the mellow yet high energy leveled Alive, the passionately emotional and dark and somber Black, and the powerfully shocking tribute Jeremy are on there, all of which do indeed rank amongst some of their finest work. But what does the album have outside of that? From what I've been able to tell, it's mostly just a heavy rock out fest. Which is cool and all, especially since Pearl Jam does it as well as anybody, but outside of Black and Jeremy, it doesn't really have the powerfully inspiring or contemplatively stimulating touch that makes them such an amazing band. Despite that fact though, the album does indeed have those two songs, both of which are probably two of the greatest songs they've ever written, and most definitely two of my all time favorite songs from them.
Of course you've all heard me go on and on about Black, heck, I've even posted the lyrics for it on here before if you remember. But today I listened to Jeremy I think for the first time in a good long while, and I must say it really reminded me of not only why it's such an incredible song, but why Pearl Jam is my favorite band. For those who don't know it's basically a tribute to a Middle School student who headlined newspapers back in '91 when he walked up in front of his English class and shot himself, and it features, along with Black, some of the finest lyrical writing PJ has ever put out. Not to mention the song itself is as full of compelling energy and passion as any one of their songs can be.
Jeremy
At home
Drawing pictures
Of mountain tops
With him on top
Lemon yellow sun
Arms raised in a V
Dead lay in pools of maroon below
Daddy didn't give attention
To the fact that mommy didn't care
King Jeremy the wicked
Ruled his world
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Clearly I remember
Pickin' on the boy
Seemed a harmless little ****
But we unleashed a lion
Gnashed his teeth
And bit the recess lady's breast
How could I forget
He hit me with a surprise left
My jaw left hurting
Dropped wide open
Just like the day
Like the day I heard
Daddy didn't give affection
And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear
King Jeremy the wicked
Ruled his world
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Try to forget this...
Try to erase this...
From the blackboard.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The Choice Has Been Made: BroEl's Summer Season 2010 Anime Lineup
Seems almost like yesterday I was making my picks for what I would be watching for the spring season, doesn't it? Well it wasn't yesterday, no, but it was only about two months ago or so that I did. Time sure does fly by when you're watching a season of good anime. Even the 11-13 episode series from last season have yet to finish their run yet, but with them coming close to doing so and the new season approaching us, it is now time to take a look at what I will be watching. Though I probably won't be following all of them to the end given time restrictions (maybe a couple and that's it) I figure I ought to at least give all five of these series a shot.
Although I've never been a particularly huge fan of Death Note, the names of Madhouse Studios and Tetsuo Araki still give meaning enough for me to want to give this series a shot. Because those same names are associated with my #2 anime released in Japan from 2008, that of course being Kurozuka. Death Note I still thought was a pretty excellent series despite not really liking it all that much, and Kurozuka was just a downright flashy cool series in it's own right. That said expectations are pretty much right up in that same capacity for this series as well. Definitely looking forward to what it brings to the table.
From the looks of things, the premise of this series looks to have something to do with both the supernatural and time travel at the same time, amongst various other interesting phenomina. Which I must say, definitely intrigues me quite a bit. Based off of the premise alone it seems like it's at least worth a shot, but we'll see. If it's anything like Ghost Hunt (it actually kind of reminds me of that series more than anything else) it may end up being one I'll have to have patience with before it really starts to keep my interest.
I must say, the animation for this series really caught my eye at first glance. It's from the same person who brought us Twelve Kingdoms (which I have yet to see or even really know anything about) and, oddly enough that I mention it again, Ghost Hunt, although unlike the latter, this one looks like it could be a real creepfest right from the start. It definitely has a very eerie feel to it, which has me very intrigued. Plus that and the plot summary on ANN makes it sound like this one could end up being a really engaging thriller. Definitely going to keep an eye on this one, that's for sure.
This one seems to be the least intriguing of all of the series I've decided to give a shot this season, and probably the most likely to be the very first series I decide not to follow to the end. Despite that fact though it still at least seems decent enough to give a shot to anyways. It does sound like a kind of series I might like after all.
I think I've come to find that Seinen has definitely become one of my top favorite genres of anime, and from the looks of things this series falls right under that category. Meaning I'll definitely be giving it a shot. Doesn't really look like there's much information on what this series is about; no trailer or plot summary or anything, but the art style and, well, pretty much the entirety of the image above really makes it look like it could end up being quite the unique and intriguing experience of the new season. If it turns out the way it looks it's probably going to be the only series on this list I'll be following all the way to the end for sure.
And that folks would be my lineup for the season. As always be sure to look forward to both mine and JayGee's first impression posts over on ArizUtaku about these series and more come next month.
Friday, June 4, 2010
On This Day.....
Today has been a bit of a nostalgic day for me. My younger brother graduated from high school today, which him being the youngest in our family and how old that makes me feel is a completely different subject matter all to itself. Where the feelings of nostalgia lie is not so much in the fact that he graduated today as much as it is the very interesting coincidence that it just so happened to fall on Friday, June 4th. That is the exact same day 6 years ago that I myself graduated from high school.
That was a day that will be long remembered. A day that I believe will forever be etched into my memory as if it only happened yesterday. And not just because it was my graduation day. No, that would be incredibly cheesy if it was just that, although I do believe one will probably still find the cheese factor pretty high nonetheless, heh heh. ^_^' The reason why I will probably forever have memorized the exact happenings of that day are because at the same time as being a wonderful, joyous day, it was also perhaps one of the worst days of my life as well. It was the day that introduced two people experiencing true feelings of love for someone for the first time into the dark and hopeless world of that love being taken away from them. For one of those two people however, it only really took them about 6 or 7 months to recover when he met the woman of his life whom he is now preparing to become espoused to in just a few months. For that same other person however, that day put him in a dark abysmal hole that took him two years to climb out of and, though that past is well behind him, even still to this day struggles with the effects that experience had on him.
If you haven't noticed yet, I speak of my best friend and myself respectively. Now the happenings of that day and the contents of both of our situations are a bit complex for me to go into very deeply, but what I will never forget are the exact feelings of that day. At times I felt the rush of excitement a graduating student always feels. But at others I either felt concern for my best friend, feelings of loneliness and inferiority, or feelings of sadness and desperation in trying to tell someone how I felt about them before I would never see them again and then inevitably the feeling of that hope I had when I finally got it off my shoulders go fluttering out the window. I was honestly at a point by the end of the day where I am probably lucky to be here before you all today, if not for the encouraging words of my best friend, who was experiencing the same things I was.
Flash forward to six years latter. Both these fine young women are married now. Don't know about the one involving Peter but the one involving me even has a one and a half year old son now too boot. Of course I already mentioned how well off Peter is doing, and then of course, there's me...... Though I have long since moved on from that particular situation, and though I am much wiser and far more skilled with people than I was back then, I still can't help but think of how it might have effected me in the long run. For the most part I like to say it helped me develop into the person that I am today - a much stronger, more mature and capable person than I once thought I could ever be. And even though I still remain to be very much so the friendly, laid back and good natured person that I've always been, at the same time I can't help but think this development into a strong, mature and capable person has also made me more cynical, rebellious, bitter and angry than I thought I could ever be. Though I'm as introverted as ever, and probably always will be, I really have broken down a lot of my personal walls that I used to have, and am still in the process of breaking down even more. Gradually I have been breaking out of my shell I used to be in way back when, and I do believe the events of 6 years ago today lead me in that right direction. But recent events involving my driving people that I love and care about deeply away from me and my current confrontation with others (including my aforementioned best friend) over wanting to follow my own advice and live my life the way I feel is right for me rather than take their guiding advice is starting to make me wonder if the strong, mature and capable and at the same time cynical, rebellious, bitter and angry person I have become today is starting to drive everyone I love away from me, and that one day I will wake up cold and alone.
What I believe I need to do in order to prevent that is to find the middle grounds between the positive and negative effects of breaking down those walls. I've forced too much of the negative in the former example and as a result I may never be able to salvage what I lost as a result and may have to live with that mistake for the rest of my life. With the latter however, I am trying to find that middle ground and even though I've succeeded for the most part, some of the negative has come out towards them. So far they have been as understanding and forgiving as I've always known them to be about it, but at the same time I can't help but feel I'm on thin ice as they continue to confront me about it, and I continue to wonder whether or not they'll be true friends in the end and eventually understand what it is I'm trying to do. But I do believe that if I can find this middle ground and I can find someone who can understand it and not get offended, then perhaps the day the effects of today 6 years ago will finally, truly be behind me.
That was a day that will be long remembered. A day that I believe will forever be etched into my memory as if it only happened yesterday. And not just because it was my graduation day. No, that would be incredibly cheesy if it was just that, although I do believe one will probably still find the cheese factor pretty high nonetheless, heh heh. ^_^' The reason why I will probably forever have memorized the exact happenings of that day are because at the same time as being a wonderful, joyous day, it was also perhaps one of the worst days of my life as well. It was the day that introduced two people experiencing true feelings of love for someone for the first time into the dark and hopeless world of that love being taken away from them. For one of those two people however, it only really took them about 6 or 7 months to recover when he met the woman of his life whom he is now preparing to become espoused to in just a few months. For that same other person however, that day put him in a dark abysmal hole that took him two years to climb out of and, though that past is well behind him, even still to this day struggles with the effects that experience had on him.
If you haven't noticed yet, I speak of my best friend and myself respectively. Now the happenings of that day and the contents of both of our situations are a bit complex for me to go into very deeply, but what I will never forget are the exact feelings of that day. At times I felt the rush of excitement a graduating student always feels. But at others I either felt concern for my best friend, feelings of loneliness and inferiority, or feelings of sadness and desperation in trying to tell someone how I felt about them before I would never see them again and then inevitably the feeling of that hope I had when I finally got it off my shoulders go fluttering out the window. I was honestly at a point by the end of the day where I am probably lucky to be here before you all today, if not for the encouraging words of my best friend, who was experiencing the same things I was.
Flash forward to six years latter. Both these fine young women are married now. Don't know about the one involving Peter but the one involving me even has a one and a half year old son now too boot. Of course I already mentioned how well off Peter is doing, and then of course, there's me...... Though I have long since moved on from that particular situation, and though I am much wiser and far more skilled with people than I was back then, I still can't help but think of how it might have effected me in the long run. For the most part I like to say it helped me develop into the person that I am today - a much stronger, more mature and capable person than I once thought I could ever be. And even though I still remain to be very much so the friendly, laid back and good natured person that I've always been, at the same time I can't help but think this development into a strong, mature and capable person has also made me more cynical, rebellious, bitter and angry than I thought I could ever be. Though I'm as introverted as ever, and probably always will be, I really have broken down a lot of my personal walls that I used to have, and am still in the process of breaking down even more. Gradually I have been breaking out of my shell I used to be in way back when, and I do believe the events of 6 years ago today lead me in that right direction. But recent events involving my driving people that I love and care about deeply away from me and my current confrontation with others (including my aforementioned best friend) over wanting to follow my own advice and live my life the way I feel is right for me rather than take their guiding advice is starting to make me wonder if the strong, mature and capable and at the same time cynical, rebellious, bitter and angry person I have become today is starting to drive everyone I love away from me, and that one day I will wake up cold and alone.
What I believe I need to do in order to prevent that is to find the middle grounds between the positive and negative effects of breaking down those walls. I've forced too much of the negative in the former example and as a result I may never be able to salvage what I lost as a result and may have to live with that mistake for the rest of my life. With the latter however, I am trying to find that middle ground and even though I've succeeded for the most part, some of the negative has come out towards them. So far they have been as understanding and forgiving as I've always known them to be about it, but at the same time I can't help but feel I'm on thin ice as they continue to confront me about it, and I continue to wonder whether or not they'll be true friends in the end and eventually understand what it is I'm trying to do. But I do believe that if I can find this middle ground and I can find someone who can understand it and not get offended, then perhaps the day the effects of today 6 years ago will finally, truly be behind me.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Lyrical Musings of the Day: It's Been a While by Staind
I swear I'm not trying to overload you all with all these song lyrics! ^_^' Just listened to another one today, and another one by Staind no less, and even more yet another one from Staind's Break the Cycle album. It's another one that I felt I could relate to personally, which is one of the reasons they've really gotten up there as, well, not really one of my favorite bands, but one I've really come to love quite a bit. They are quite impressive with their song writing style and their musicality and sound isn't bad either, but their songs are just so personal sometimes it's hard not to be able to relate to them. This one in particular though is one I've been having on my mind a lot lately.
And it's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been a while
Since I first saw you
And it's been a while
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been a while
Since I could call you
And everything I can remember
As ****** up as it all may seem
And consequences that are rendered
I stretch myself beyond my means
And it's been a while
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well
And it's been a while
Since I've gone and ****** things up just like I always do
And it's been a while
But all that **** seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can remember
As ****** up as it all may seem
And consequences that are rendered
I've gone and ****** things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can remember
As ****** up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been a while
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been a while
Since I first saw you
And it's been a while
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been a while
Since I could call you
And everything I can remember
As ****** up as it all may seem
And consequences that are rendered
I stretch myself beyond my means
And it's been a while
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well
And it's been a while
Since I've gone and ****** things up just like I always do
And it's been a while
But all that **** seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can remember
As ****** up as it all may seem
And consequences that are rendered
I've gone and ****** things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can remember
As ****** up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been a while
Since I said I'm sorry
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Lyrical Musings of the Day: Black by Pearl Jam
Probably some of the most well written lyrics I've ever heard for the most part come from Pearl Jam. Combine that with the fact that they pour so much energy and raw emotion into their music and that's precisely what makes them without a doubt my all time favorite band. They have such a way with words, and such a way with being able to either powerfuly reach you on an emotional level or stimulate you intelectually. These lyrics here are from my favorite song of theirs, and one of my favorite songs of all time. Because this song embodies everything that's so great about Pearl Jam, how they can take a song with such a generic main theme and turn it into something so poetic and emotionally powerful. And because of which this song has typically tended to be one of my personal main themes during times when it feels like my still beating heart has been ripped right out of my chest. Of course this song clearly implies that the woman Eddie Veder is singing about was more specifically someone he made love to, which at those parts I just replace those lyrics with some of my own that better fits the situation, heh heh. ^_^'
Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did (my version: as her presence once did).
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn
Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore (my version: that she bore)
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything.
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...
I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...
All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be...
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine
Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did (my version: as her presence once did).
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn
Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore (my version: that she bore)
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything.
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...
I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...
All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be...
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine
Thursday, April 29, 2010
A summer full of magic and adventure! ......and work....
So as most of you have probably noticed, I like to do one of these around pretty much any time I'm either out for school or am on my way back into school, just to kind of cap stuff that's been going on in life. Well, with finals week over with as of last Tuesday, we're well past due for that time yet again. So as such, I now present to you the mostly pathetically sad and uneventful yet strangely interesting and exciting events to come in the life of everyone's favorite geeky loner.
First of all, a recap of what has happened since the last time I did this. As most of you know I was struggling with my Calculus class for a very long while there, afraid that I was going to fail it and thus effecting my financial aid in a not so pleasant way. And the stress continued well up until, well, pretty much around the same time I took the final. But since I posted my thoughts on this particular issue a few months ago, I must say I've been making up the slack quite well for the most part. I was able to work my way up from an E probably within the 30 percentiles to an E in the 50 percentiles, but an E nonetheless. So I was cutting it dangerously close, needless to say. But it was most certainly progress, that's for sure. Then after pouring over my study time endlessly for the remaining two tests of the class (the one we ended up having on the last day of class and the final) I was able to make even more progress apparently, because it was enough to pull my grade out from the 50 percentiles to what I have recently checked as my final grade in that class as a D, better even than the D- I was at the very least least shooting for in that class. Now if only I had tackled things like that from the very start, maybe I wouldn't even have to take the class again. But, no point in worrying about what could've been I suppose. Whenever we make mistakes we just have to accept the consequences and do the best with what you have otherwise. In which case I look forward to this fall when I take it again, this time with more confidence in what I already know as an advantage instead of being overwhelmed by seeing it for the first time. Other grades were pretty solid though. Typical A in Symphonic Band of course, with a B in CS 1030 and a C in Anthropology. Which both are a bit lower than I was hoping they would be, but still satisfying enough. However that fact plus the Calc grade ended up hitting my GPA pretty hard. After rolling for two strait semesters of 3.19 and 3.25, I ended up with the lowest GPA I've ever had at a 2.17. The overall cumulative GPA only dropped from 2.99 to2.87 though, so it's really not so depressing when you think of it.
And now with that behind us, we look ahead to 4 fun-filled months of not having to put up with the stress of exams, homework or studying!! Unlike my stint of depression back during spring break though, I'm actually kind of looking forward to having plenty of time to do nothing this time around. Though I still look back and miss ever so dearly how things were before with regret as to how I allowed them to turn out, and though I still feel quite lonely from time to time outside of the many fond times I still do have with the good 'ol doompants gang (Peter, Aaron and co.), I think I'm well enough removed from the situation by now and used to the way things are enough that for the most part, I've learned not to let it bother me quite as much anymore. Which is a good thing, because now I can focus on other things other than how miserable my life is. Like for starters, I've finally been able to get out and begin my journey into the world of having a job. Got a bishop's referal turned into the D.I. a couple of weeks ago and back on Tuesday I had an interview to work there. Today I went in to sign some paperwork, probably would have even done some work in my assigned department (I will be working out in the dock, which is awesome because I get to see all the kinds of awesome and entertaining stuff that comes in there!! :D ) with my job training coach as well if he had been in today. But since he wasn't I'm assuming I'll be doing that tomorrow sometime after the orientation in the morning. All of which I get payed for, which is also nice. 8-) When I do start actual work up, I'll be working 40 hours a week, 8 hours a day for 5 days of the week, though I will be required to work on Saturdays. Which is pretty much why we've come to the conclusion that I won't be working when school starts up again, or at least not there anyways. By then I hope to be moving on to a part time job that will work me at the very most 6 hours a day for 4 days, which would pretty much be ideal for me. In the meantime I'll be earning minimum wage with this job, which when you do the math comes out to about $500-$600 per paycheck, of which I have no reason to complain. 8-) As for the good 'ol family paper route, I'm still working that one as well, but only until May 31st, as we are sending in our notice on Saturday. It sure will be nice to be able to sleep again after about 12 or so years of doing it, that's for sure.
As for the dating situation, I think I'm just going to take it easy for a while. I won't deny the fact that I still have feelings for who I do, and I still don't think those feelings will go away very easily. But I think what's best for me to do right now is just take up any opportunity to go on whatever date I can with anybody and not really worry about finding a relationship out of any of it. Basically I think for now I'm just trying to expand my horizon of who I can meet and who out of those people I can possibly like. I don't think that means that I'm promising I won't end up in a relationship any time soon though. That mostly depends on who I do meet and how much I end up liking them. But that will be determined only after I figure out whether or not they like me first I think. I've been in way too many one-sided situations where I've been the one to like them that way to do anything else. But for now I'm just not going to worry too much about it. It may happen, it may not, either way I don't think I really care too much at the moment. All I'm really concerned with right now is putting myself out there and seeing who likes me and whether or not I like them.
And of course, as always, it wouldn't be a long break from school without a crap load of anime to watch! ^_^ I imagine my anime watching will be somewhat limited this summer from what it typically is, given the fact that I'll be working and all (and working for 8 hours a day no less..... ). But I'm sure it won't be by too much. Already on tap, and already have I delved into, are two series in particular, one of which I'm actually already halfway through. That series would be the French revolution epic Le Chevalier D'eon, which full series box set I ended up getting way back at Christmastime. So far the series has indeed been quite epic, and without a doubt quite interesting, given the setting and story taking place in a time period and location not typically seen in an anime series, complete with actual historical figures as lead characters and all. According to most it starts out kind of slow, which I must say I do kind of agree with to a point. But I think I'm already getting to the point where this thing is really starting to get quite exciting. The other, which I have watched two episodes of so far, would be one of Masaaki Yuasa's first masterpieces in Kemmonozume. It's start hasn't been quite as impressive or magnificent as Kaiba's was or Tatami Galaxy's has been so far, but still very, very impressive and magnificent nonetheless. From the disappointment I hear about how the series turned out though, it is possible I might find myself experiencing the typical railroad crash we saw with Kaiba. If not, then maybe it'll just be as impressive as it is now, never getting better, which I won't complain about if it does. I may be able to put it up on a higher pedestal than Kaiba at the very least. Then there's the new spring season anime that I'll be trying to follow regularly, which I have already posted on this blog earlier and which I have already posted my first impressions of (at least the ones I was assigned anyways) over on ArizUtaku, and I'm also thinking about finishing up Planets, which I got about 12 episodes into during the winter break and never finished, and Eve no Jikan (Time of Eve), which I have regrettably only seen one episode of. I might even be looking into finding Yuasa's grandest masterpiece of them all, the highly acclaimed film Mind Game, some time this summer as well. Who knows, I might even end up finding myself FINALLY getting around to watching Haruhi and the second season of Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex if there's time for anything else.
And so my friends, my fellow bloggers who have been so kind as to follow me on here, there you have it; my life at this moment in a nutshell. Hope I haven't bored you to death too terribly much, heh heh.
First of all, a recap of what has happened since the last time I did this. As most of you know I was struggling with my Calculus class for a very long while there, afraid that I was going to fail it and thus effecting my financial aid in a not so pleasant way. And the stress continued well up until, well, pretty much around the same time I took the final. But since I posted my thoughts on this particular issue a few months ago, I must say I've been making up the slack quite well for the most part. I was able to work my way up from an E probably within the 30 percentiles to an E in the 50 percentiles, but an E nonetheless. So I was cutting it dangerously close, needless to say. But it was most certainly progress, that's for sure. Then after pouring over my study time endlessly for the remaining two tests of the class (the one we ended up having on the last day of class and the final) I was able to make even more progress apparently, because it was enough to pull my grade out from the 50 percentiles to what I have recently checked as my final grade in that class as a D, better even than the D- I was at the very least least shooting for in that class. Now if only I had tackled things like that from the very start, maybe I wouldn't even have to take the class again. But, no point in worrying about what could've been I suppose. Whenever we make mistakes we just have to accept the consequences and do the best with what you have otherwise. In which case I look forward to this fall when I take it again, this time with more confidence in what I already know as an advantage instead of being overwhelmed by seeing it for the first time. Other grades were pretty solid though. Typical A in Symphonic Band of course, with a B in CS 1030 and a C in Anthropology. Which both are a bit lower than I was hoping they would be, but still satisfying enough. However that fact plus the Calc grade ended up hitting my GPA pretty hard. After rolling for two strait semesters of 3.19 and 3.25, I ended up with the lowest GPA I've ever had at a 2.17. The overall cumulative GPA only dropped from 2.99 to2.87 though, so it's really not so depressing when you think of it.
And now with that behind us, we look ahead to 4 fun-filled months of not having to put up with the stress of exams, homework or studying!! Unlike my stint of depression back during spring break though, I'm actually kind of looking forward to having plenty of time to do nothing this time around. Though I still look back and miss ever so dearly how things were before with regret as to how I allowed them to turn out, and though I still feel quite lonely from time to time outside of the many fond times I still do have with the good 'ol doompants gang (Peter, Aaron and co.), I think I'm well enough removed from the situation by now and used to the way things are enough that for the most part, I've learned not to let it bother me quite as much anymore. Which is a good thing, because now I can focus on other things other than how miserable my life is. Like for starters, I've finally been able to get out and begin my journey into the world of having a job. Got a bishop's referal turned into the D.I. a couple of weeks ago and back on Tuesday I had an interview to work there. Today I went in to sign some paperwork, probably would have even done some work in my assigned department (I will be working out in the dock, which is awesome because I get to see all the kinds of awesome and entertaining stuff that comes in there!! :D ) with my job training coach as well if he had been in today. But since he wasn't I'm assuming I'll be doing that tomorrow sometime after the orientation in the morning. All of which I get payed for, which is also nice. 8-) When I do start actual work up, I'll be working 40 hours a week, 8 hours a day for 5 days of the week, though I will be required to work on Saturdays. Which is pretty much why we've come to the conclusion that I won't be working when school starts up again, or at least not there anyways. By then I hope to be moving on to a part time job that will work me at the very most 6 hours a day for 4 days, which would pretty much be ideal for me. In the meantime I'll be earning minimum wage with this job, which when you do the math comes out to about $500-$600 per paycheck, of which I have no reason to complain. 8-) As for the good 'ol family paper route, I'm still working that one as well, but only until May 31st, as we are sending in our notice on Saturday. It sure will be nice to be able to sleep again after about 12 or so years of doing it, that's for sure.
As for the dating situation, I think I'm just going to take it easy for a while. I won't deny the fact that I still have feelings for who I do, and I still don't think those feelings will go away very easily. But I think what's best for me to do right now is just take up any opportunity to go on whatever date I can with anybody and not really worry about finding a relationship out of any of it. Basically I think for now I'm just trying to expand my horizon of who I can meet and who out of those people I can possibly like. I don't think that means that I'm promising I won't end up in a relationship any time soon though. That mostly depends on who I do meet and how much I end up liking them. But that will be determined only after I figure out whether or not they like me first I think. I've been in way too many one-sided situations where I've been the one to like them that way to do anything else. But for now I'm just not going to worry too much about it. It may happen, it may not, either way I don't think I really care too much at the moment. All I'm really concerned with right now is putting myself out there and seeing who likes me and whether or not I like them.
And of course, as always, it wouldn't be a long break from school without a crap load of anime to watch! ^_^ I imagine my anime watching will be somewhat limited this summer from what it typically is, given the fact that I'll be working and all (and working for 8 hours a day no less..... ). But I'm sure it won't be by too much. Already on tap, and already have I delved into, are two series in particular, one of which I'm actually already halfway through. That series would be the French revolution epic Le Chevalier D'eon, which full series box set I ended up getting way back at Christmastime. So far the series has indeed been quite epic, and without a doubt quite interesting, given the setting and story taking place in a time period and location not typically seen in an anime series, complete with actual historical figures as lead characters and all. According to most it starts out kind of slow, which I must say I do kind of agree with to a point. But I think I'm already getting to the point where this thing is really starting to get quite exciting. The other, which I have watched two episodes of so far, would be one of Masaaki Yuasa's first masterpieces in Kemmonozume. It's start hasn't been quite as impressive or magnificent as Kaiba's was or Tatami Galaxy's has been so far, but still very, very impressive and magnificent nonetheless. From the disappointment I hear about how the series turned out though, it is possible I might find myself experiencing the typical railroad crash we saw with Kaiba. If not, then maybe it'll just be as impressive as it is now, never getting better, which I won't complain about if it does. I may be able to put it up on a higher pedestal than Kaiba at the very least. Then there's the new spring season anime that I'll be trying to follow regularly, which I have already posted on this blog earlier and which I have already posted my first impressions of (at least the ones I was assigned anyways) over on ArizUtaku, and I'm also thinking about finishing up Planets, which I got about 12 episodes into during the winter break and never finished, and Eve no Jikan (Time of Eve), which I have regrettably only seen one episode of. I might even be looking into finding Yuasa's grandest masterpiece of them all, the highly acclaimed film Mind Game, some time this summer as well. Who knows, I might even end up finding myself FINALLY getting around to watching Haruhi and the second season of Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex if there's time for anything else.
And so my friends, my fellow bloggers who have been so kind as to follow me on here, there you have it; my life at this moment in a nutshell. Hope I haven't bored you to death too terribly much, heh heh.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Things guys wish girls knew.
Just barely became a fan of this over on facebook. I must say, well over like, 90% of this is so very true......
1. Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.
2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him
5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-he… method.
6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a *********-- Goodbye.
9. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
11. Guys are very open about themselves.
12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
14. Guys love you more than you love them.
15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.
16. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me." but if he said he doesnt want to talk about it, give him a day or 2 and he will come out
23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
30. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
32. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents ALL of them.
33. They love it when girls talk about their boobs.
34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs
36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts lol
37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probaly still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.
39.Usually (not all the time) it's the guys who have all the millions of girlfriends how treat you bad, most of the "less popular" guys will treat you better.
40.Sometime men appreciate the burden being taken off of them. If you like someone... tell them. Otherwise nothing ever materializes from your feelings.! Most guys like it when girls ask them out
41.99% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you, so don't take everything we say seriously lol^^
42. Trust us, you are DEFINITELY not always right.If you are wrong just admit it, please.Believe it or not, but we are VERY forgiving
43.hey girls you look beautiful naturally whatsoever the more time you spend to makeup the less time we spend together...
44.We definitely love the girls who feel worried and take care of us when we are sick
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