Lyrical Musings of the Day: Lightning Crashes by Live

While listening to one of my favorite radio stations I've noticed that this song quite frequently comes up, which of course makes sense considering it's a classic of early 90's alt-rock/post grunge.  I've always thought this was such a mystically sounding, absolutely beautiful song, but I've never really put much thought into what it's meaning is.  Until just recently that is, when I finally decided to go pick up their classic 1994 album Throwing Copper.  I was listening to this album on the bus coming back from school today and listened to this song a couple of times, paying more close attention to the lyrics.  That combined with already having seen the music video for it led me to seeing this song's beauty a thousand fold, and has garnered me a newfound level of respect for this band as a whole.  Frontman and primary songwriter Ed Kowalczyk's lyrics, especially in the case of this song, are right up there with some of the most well-written I've ever heard as he so profoundly conveys the scene of an old woman passing away in one hospital room and a baby being born in the next, as if to transfer the passing of one life into the emergence of another in a glorious celebration of life in general.  His lyrical and songwriting style remind me so much of Pearl Jam's Eddie Veder, who is also amongst my favorite songwriters.


Lightning Crashes


lightning crashes, a new mother cries
her placenta falls to the floor
the angel opens her eyes
the confusion sets in
before the doctor can even close the door

lightning crashes, an old mother dies
her intentions fall to the floor
the angel closes her eyes
the confusion that was hers
belongs now, to the baby down the hall

oh now feel it comin' back again
like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
forces pullin' from the center of the earth again
I can feel it.

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
this moment she's been waiting for
the angel opens her eyes
pale blue colored iris,
presents the circle
and puts the glory out to hide, hide 

Lyrical Musings of the Day: Sworn and Broken by Screaming Trees/Happy New Year!

Simply put, this has been quite the stale and stagnant year for me.  It started out horribly and since then it hasn't particularly been a terrible year, just not particularly a great year either.  The year as a whole has pretty much been this exact same way for my favorite hobbies as well.  Even in the sense of my traditional year's best anime lists I love to make every year where it's been a terribly slow year for me in that sense that I just don't have enough to put on said list.  It's also been a really slow year for new music as as far as I've been able to tell, and for someone who has always loved movies but is still fairly new to the level of movie buff I would prefer to be at to make such a list, all I really have left is the fact that I've listened to a crapload of older music, discovering a whole slew of bands I've never listened to/never given a more serious listening to.  And the search even continues as we speak.  Now I can't really make a year's best list based on this, but I can post the lyrics from one of my favorite songs by one of these said bands that ever since I heard it I thought of it to be the perfect song to ponder over during the New Year season.  This year especially because I feel that not only do the lyrics of this song remind me of how this past year has been for me, but at the same time what I could say my hopes are for 2011.  So here's to the best of 2011 not only for me, but for all you readers out there as well! (If there are any that is, heh heh...... )


Sworn and Broken


Winter's setting in again
And it feels
Like the end is near
Senseless sense and I'm alone
Watching' the seconds
Passing' by

Come January I swear this world
Won't be the one
That we once lived on
Took an oath
For a promise sworn and broken
All that's gone
Away

When Monday morning you can't wake up
Still dreaming' of
What could've been
Something good has gone and left you
It's another tear
One won't deny

Come January I swear this world
Won't be the one
That we once lived on
Took an oath
Another promise sworn and broken
All that's gone
All that's gone before you've changed

Well Monday morning you don't wake up
Still dreaming' of
What could've been
Something good has gone and left you
It's another tear
One more denial

Come January I swear this world
Won't be the one
That we once lived on
Took an oath
Another promise sworn and broken
All that's gone
All that's gone before
All that's gone before
Has changed

Seasonal Letdown

Just in case you haven't noticed, it's that time of year again.  You know, that same time of year where everyone's supposed to be happy and jolly, showing love and appreciation for those friends/family that you know, etcetera etcetera.  In just an hour and a half from my writing these exact words it will officially be the day before Christmas, better known as Christmas Eve.  And for all the reasons mentioned above, it's my personal favorite time of the year.  Even though I can get pretty overly annoyed by snow at any other time during the wintertime, there's nothing I love to see more during the holidays.  There's just something about it that adds to the wonder and beauty of the time, along with the lights all strung up and gorgeous, decorated trees all lit up and the beautiful music that is played all around during this time as well.  The stress of school is behind us for three weeks and even though I personally believe in showing the same kind of love and appreciation for one another year round that is always talked about in full force cliche, it's the culmination of all these things that really seems to put the feeling in the air in all it's perfection.

Though I've always experienced all of this and reveled in it during must holiday seasons, there have been few next to none that have made me feel it more than it did last year.  Mostly because there have been few holiday seasons where I had so many people I held in my thoughts and my heart during it outside of my family as well as inside it.  Whereas that fact had me feeling admittedly more selfish than I probably should have during that time in years past, last year was one of the first times I saw myself appreciating it for less of the selfish commercialism and more of what  truly does make it as special as it is than ever before.  And all of this was made possible by the sheer and simple fact that if it wasn't family, even if it wasn't Peter, Aaron and the others or even certain someones who know who they are, it was someone else even, most specifically the many friends that I seemed to be making and who were making me feel more belonged than I ever have at school, in the band, or even other places that would be chatting with me, having me hang out with them and just all around making me feel good about myself and about them.  And on what was at the time my typical paperout routine not only every day of the year but on Christmas morning as well, I saw myself not being excited about my own Christmas morning experiences, giddy to get home and open my presents and such, but deep in thought about every last one of these people and wondering how they were spending their Christmas mornings and what excitements and joys they were feeling.  These experiences continued even on through New Year's and it all really gave me more of a newfound appreciation for what this time of year should be about.

Well long story short, as I'm sure we all know by now based on the many blog posts I've made on said subjects, it didn't take too long after being back in school again and life moving on as usual for life to be seeming like pretty much the exact opposite.  And as a result?  Here we are one holiday season later, and I couldn't feel life being emptier, lonelier, or just all around being more dull and boring than it is now.  It is now currently an hour away from officially being Christmas Eve, and it honestly doesn't feel any different than any other day.  Not only because of the aforementioned catastrophe, but also add onto that Peter now being married and living in Logan, so far outside of my capability to have him keep me company, Aaron and his wife being sick, and everyone else seemingly more distant from me in their thoughts then I feel they should be and instead I feel myself being more along the lines of bitter and lonely instead of having that special feeling I had last year.  Ironically the more commercial feeling of the season that had me more preoccupied than it should have in years past has come back to bite me in the butt, and after last year it all just seems so empty; not nearly as exciting as it used to be.  Almost everything about Christmas seems to serve as nothing more than a reminder of how wonderful things were last year and how it can't be that wonderful this year, and quite frankly, all it does is make me feel sad inside because of it and down on myself for not being able to not only have prevented things from becoming as bad as they are way back when they did, but also to find other ways to make it that special again.  Just when I thought things were turning around for the better last year, this year I find myself not only back where I was before it, but not being able to appreciate it as much anymore.

I suppose all I can really hope for is to survive it all, make the best of what I do have no matter how lonely ore empty it may feel, and hope for the new and upcoming year to have more promising things in store for me so that by this time next year I won't be feeling this way anymore.

Lyrical Musings of the Day: Everyday is Exactly the Same by Nine Inch Nails

I've actually been meaning to give this band more of a deeper listen to for quite a while now.  I pretty much figured I've really been on quite the rock music binge lately that now's as good a time to as any.  And I must say I've really been loving what I'm hearing.  I'd had a good idea as to how great Trent Reznor's stuff was based off of what few NIN songs I'd heard up 'till now plus the fact that he composed the soundtrack to The Social Network, but now I've pretty much confirmed him as one of our time's greatest musical geniuses.

In any case, I had just finished downloading their 2005 album With Teeth on iTunes the other day and when I gave it a listen to and this song came on, I found myself feeling how in a lot of ways it had a strikingly similar resemblance to how I've always kind of felt about life.  With Teeth as I recall was pretty much Reznor's political criticism record, one amongst many that were specifically being targeted at the Bush administration at the time.  With that said, I'd probably say a good interpretation of the song's meaning is would be a description of what life is like in a capitalistic society.  As such I'm actually pretty fairly certain most anyone out there could probably relate to this song every bit as much as I do.

"Every Day Is Exactly The Same"

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same


I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do



Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

To Yield or not to Yield; That is the question.

So I was surfing the internet last night and got completely bored, and as such I did what I usually do when I'm on the computer and bored: type my favorite musical artists into YouTube and see what comes up.  Sometimes I even re-visit old favorites of mine if I'm especially bored, which indeed was the case.  In the midst of this I came across one of my all time favorite music videos, that being the one for Pearl Jam's Do the Evolution (which I have linked to in this post) off of their 1998 album Yield (which, saying a lot for a band that constantly comes out with lyrical masterpieces, is probably their greatest lyrical masterpiece to date and in my opinion some of their finest work, but that's another story.....).

Rather than just being animated and animated excellently, this video is one of my favorites for the majority of reasoning being that it's actually very deep and thought provoking and loaded to the brim with symbolic images.  In watching this video last night I made a few really interesting observances that I never had picked up on before, as you would imagine to be the case with something like this.  One such observance was a shot near the end of the video of a Yield sign getting shot at and carelessly knocked over, as if not only to ignore it's presence and potential meaning but treating it as if it was just simply getting in the way.  This observance comes in light of the fact that the concept of the album is to focus around the idea of "yielding to nature," or as Eddie Vedder says of the matter: "Let's say that hypothetically speaking, the title does mean something...You can fight so much, and then you have to think, 'What are the real battles?' 'What's really important?' You get to a certain point, and it's really hard to remember what music is and to remember what drives you."  Quite a bit of a more positive outlook on life than their earlier works, which while still some of their more excellent and well known, has a lot more general pessimistic approaches.  Also says Vedder on the issue: "What was rage in the past has become reflection. In the past we got really angry and we cried out against many things in our songs, and I think our message reached to people pretty well this way. But where do you go after that? I think when you become an adult you have to express your energy in a different way, more calm. That doesn't mean we forget the bad side of life, because it still appears in our songs. But what it's now exciting, a real challenge, is facing it from a more positive point of view, looking for a way to solve it. In the past we said: what a shit, this stinks, that sucks, everything sucks... Now it's time to say: stop, let's look for a solution, let's be positive."

While most of the songs on this album are more positively deep and reflective, Do the Evolution is one of the ones that very much so focuses on the bad side of life, criticizing mankind's so called "Evolution" as a species today from what we were way back when, arguing that in all actuality we are no more primitive animals than we were as cavemen.  The approach from a more positive point of view/ way to solve it as Vedder suggests in the above quote I think is emphasized quite well in the shot of that Yield sign getting carelessly blown away in the music video: that sometimes we are so caught up in our ambissions and drives in life - to get ahead in life  or keep up with society or whatever - that we not only seldom stop to see the beauty and passion in the bigger picture of things, but sometimes we just ignorantly and carelessly blow them by to the wayside in pursuit of our selfish ambissions.

Lyrical Musings of the Day: High and Dry by Radiohead

So, being the big Radiohead nut that I am and all, I eventually had to go and pick up what is critically acclaimed as one of their best albums, The Bends, a few weeks ago after having been previously directed away from it.  And while it's still not quite on the same innovative level as it's follow ups OK Computer (1997) and Kid A (2000) it's still one of the band's truest testaments to Thom Yorke's songwriting genius and in my opinion their second best album (Kid A I recognize musically as a masterpiece in melodic innovation, it's just a musical style not quite liking to my personal tastes).  And as an album loaded to the brim with introspectiveness, it's hard naturally for me not to be able to identify with most of it's songs.  Probably none more than High and Dry, which really hit home for me more than any other one of the band's songs.  Not just lyrically, but there's just something about the melodics of this song as well that played a huge part making the lyrics just as powerful.  Enough so that it almost feels like a disservice to post just the lyrics here instead of the actual song itself.  And if I had a way of doing so I would.  So considering the fact that I don't, you'll just have to settle for the lyrics here and maybe type it into YouTube or something if you want to hear the song as well.

High and Dry


Two jumps in a week
I bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy?
Flying on your motorcycle,
Watching all the ground beneath you drop
You'd kill yourself for recognition,
Kill yourself to never ever stop
You broke another mirror,
You're turning into something you are not

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Drying up in conversation,
You will be the one who cannot talk
All your insides fall to pieces,
You just sit there wishing you could still make love
They're the ones who'll hate you
When you think you've got the world all sussed out
They're the ones who'll spit at you,
You will be the one screaming out

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

It's the best thing that you ever had,
The best thing that you ever, ever had
It's the best thing that you ever had,
The best thing you ever had has gone away 

As the seasons change, so to does life.

Well as it would seem school is back in session again.  And with the start of a new semester also comes the end of the heat and the excitement of summer, ushering in the eventual cooler temperatures and busier days of the fall and winter.  Only, maybe not all that much more busy than I was in the summer.....

I suppose you could say life isn't really all that different now that it was then.  Only difference really is that I'm in school instead of working at the D.I..  Hours are about the same, only now I've got homework and studying and everything of the sort to worry about now.  But I suppose it's better than going out and wearing myself out everyday, dealing with mostly people I don't like (with the exception of a few I got along well enough with) and only getting payed $7.25 an hour for 8 hours a day of all that, heh heh.  It's definitely crossed my mind getting a part time job in the evenings with Saturdays off, the latter of which of course prevented me from doing such with the D.I. during the school year (we're all required to work Saturdays).  I guess it's not too much to be keeping my eyes out for opportunities, but for now just focusing on my studies, doing what I love (band) and keeping up with my hobbies will do.  I may just wait until next summer to find more employment, but if anything comes along I'm not too against looking into it.

It's kind of an interesting semester this time around, the likes of which I've never really had before.  Aside from marching and symphonic bands the only other physically real class I have is Calculus, which by the way is definitely making MUCH more sense than it did last semester.  Having a teacher that actually makes sense when she teaches the material to you and having an actual homework format this time around, along with the fact that I'm taking with me what I did learn last semester into it all really makes a huge difference.  Outside of that my other two classes are online, those being Intro to Programing via Java and Network Fundamentals and Design.  In a way I can't help but think things would be much more convenient in a physical classroom setting because of the better interaction you have with your professor and classmates, but I seem to be handling it just fine.  It does have it's own conveniences, like how you can listen to the lectures on your own time, therefore making it all fresh in your mind when you take a quiz or test or have to do an assignment.

Band of course is always something to look forward to.  As far as fall semester is concerned marching band more specifically.  I'm really liking the group we have this year.  If we weren't wild and crazy enough the last two years this year almost seems to be two fold that.  I'm having as much fun and getting along with as much people as I ever have in band and then some.  Really looking forward to when we start playing games and when we go on this that we were promised this year.  I can't even comprehend how much of a blast that's going to be with this group...... XD Talent wise we also seem to be as good as we ever were, only this time we're twice as big as we were last year at about 80-something people, which is probably the biggest one I've ever been in.  It's been a great year so far in these first few weeks, and I'm really looking forward to how great the rest of the year will be as well.  Also feeling a lot more comfortable playing 2nd trombone in symphonic band as well as apposed to playing lead last semester.  I never really like to be stuck on third, but I think lead is just way too much pressure for me.  Hopefully Dr. Root will be understanding of this from now on, but considering my history with him, probably not, heh heh.

As far as hobbies go Anime has kind of shockingly taken a bit of a backseat for me as of late.  I know there's a vast sea of anime out there for me to delve into and all, meaning if there's a bunch of crap for me to leave completely alone there's also a ton of greatness out there for me to explore more deeply as well.  Thing is after my attempts this past summer to find more of that greatness I think I left disappointed enough that it's been hard for me to really get enthusiastic about it again.  Chevalier, though I understand it to be extraordinarily enthralling in it's later episodes got so dull in the first 12 episodes that it was really hard for me to be inspired enough to keep following it.  I'll probably pick it up again later sometime like I have with other series I've had this experience with and ended up absolutely adoring, but right now I kind of just have a "meh" attitude about it.  Kemmonozume was really underwhelming for a Masaki Yuasa series, and not even for the same reasons as some of his works have been in the past.  Surprisingly enough it was for the things in which I've always known him to be so incredibly talented with in the past.  As was Tatami Galaxy come to think of it, but I ended up liking that one enough to be the only series over both spring and summer seasons I ended up having much of a desire to follow all the way to the end.  With all of that said I have to say that this is the first summer where I didn't get so overly obsessed with a series that was so good it ended up amongst some of my top favorites in at least 4 years or so.  I did end up having that experience with Mind Game actually, as it ended up as not only my favorite anime film of all time, but probably somewhere in my top favorite anime of all time.  But seeing as how it's a movie and all, I only got to have it for 2 hours rather than over a stretched out period of time.  Which kind of prevented me from actually being obsessed with it.  On another bright side I picked up some of Osamu Tezuka's works and do plan on getting more into them soon.  Time constraints as well as my recent anime limbo have kind of prevented me from reading MW very often, but I've really liked what I've read of it so far.  Hopefully it's later half as well as Ode to Kirihito will end up helping to give me that step up I need.  I also think I need to find the right anime series as well.  Time of Eve (which for some reason I've STILL neglected to get around to watching....), my eventually getting past episode 6 of Durarara!! and eventually finishing Monster as well as the highly anticipated new Yoshitoshi ABe series Despera are all very likely candidates to doing such for me.  Whatever happens with that though, let us pray that it happens soon.......

In the meantime I've shown more of an increased interest in films and music.  Probably far more so the later than the former, but I have been starting to keep a log of films out there I need to see.  Especially now that my constantly decreasing filter for R-rated movies over the last while or so has finally seemed to have hit it's mark to where the filter no longer exists.  I've just taken notice as of late that I seem to have more of a passion for watching and critiquing/analyzing films and music more than I have most anything else.  But for now music has probably been my biggest passion, as I've began looking a lot deeper into a lot of well known bands I've always wanted to and have also begun my journey into looking at more obscure underground bands.  Starting of course with the Seattle Grunge scene and the alternative rock of the 90s, which is a great place to start in my opinion.  I've noticed that most of my favorite bands came out of that era, with maybe a few from the 60s or 70s as well.  I've never really been that big a fan of most of today's artists with maybe the exception of a few.  But other than that I've noticed we've been in a bit of a musical limbo in our era......  Kind of makes me wish I had my youth back then instead of now.....  So yeah, anyways, as I was saying, I'm hoping to look more into the underground music scene in the future.  Our good 'ol pal Hellkorn over in the forums has a ton of things in that aspect he would suggest, I'll probably start looking into a lot of what he's suggested in the past.

Also, I HAVE A LAPTOP NOW!!!! :D Sorry for the mini freak out there but I do believe I am entitled to after how long I've waited to get my hands on one of those.......  I will say if nothing else, working at the D.I. especially helped me out with that.  Now if I could just get my own wireless internet, or if a wireless network that I could actually successfully log into would crop up around where I live things would be much more convenient then they already are......  Nonetheless though, it's been a really exciting experience having my own computer and not having to worry about what everyone else thinks about my downloading stuff to it or what my desktop backgroud is or whatever.  It's even helped me get ever so slightly back into video games via the various emulators I've downloaded for it.  My current obsession is with a good 'ol Super NES classic called Earthbound.  Like I said above about finding the right thing to get you interested again, so far I'd say Earthbound is probably that game.  Just when I thought I've played every great classic RPG out there, this one comes along, which has apparently gotten under my radar somehow.....  Nonetheless, I'm excited to keep up with this one.

So once again, there you have it.  Not really too much of a change from where I was the last time I made a post like this other than maybe further proof that I am indeed a geeky loner with no life, heh heh. :P But despite being nonexistent, it is all around just good and relaxed for me right now I'd say, and I'm quite enjoying it.  Which in that sense I'd say it's a far cry from where it was for me back in the spring.  Sometimes it's good to have a good 'ol fassioned break from the things that used to make you worry and be stressed out about as you focus your attention to other things in life that you enjoy and make it worth living for you.  I guess it's not that I don't concern myself with those things at all anymore because it's still there in the back of my mind, but it's good not to let it dominate your perspective on things like it did back then.  But who knows, maybe even then we'll see where this new approach to things leads me sometime in the future.